Masar - Le Trio Joubran

This Monday, June 17th, as the Strawberry Moon shines full in the sky, we of the #Moonstruck Rebellion will unplug from our phones, computers, and TVs — the entire architecture of our digital dependence. No more apocalyptic newsfeeds, no more psy-warfare in the comments — no more Trump. We convene for a digital day of rest, and together alight for the outdoors, reconnecting with nature and revelling in the moonlight. We have but one goal: to note the quiet exhilaration of hurtling around the sun on this beautiful planet of ours.

And as the haze of Insta-filters lifts, our focus comes back to the big questions. At this full moon, we invite you to contemplate a lively tool sweeping the political landscape . . . 

Yes, the milkshake. Never has there been so provocative a dairy product.

Lately, the Right has taken centre stage in acts of political theatre, but the milkshake is a potent retort — a pulsing beacon of reminder that the Left can still throw something better than a punch. Some argue that the milkshake is an act of violence, but in this new arena of might-is-right morality we must ask ourselves, How else do we reclaim our influence? Might it be just this simple?

The heart of the milkshake is not its contents, but its symbolism. As a means of literally painting something with contempt, it is peerless. And perhaps this act of defiant tricksterism comprises the might we’ve been looking for all along.

The disobedience and delight will start like any other Monday, with the fat cats rolling into their corporate offices. And before they can even park the Mercedes, a torrent of cookies-and-cream will splatter the hood. And look — across the street, the facade of the Starbucks, dripping and sticky from a frothy frappe-attack. Goodness me. The antics roll on into evening, with milkshake blockades choking the commute of Big Oil execs headed home after another day of devastating the planet.

Before long, the phenomenon has gone global — all around the world, nonviolent desserts are sailing through the air at targets richly deserving. The elites may deploy their designer umbrellas in defence, but what started as nuisance will come to feel like urgent pressure. 

After all, you can’t change the course of a milkshake simply by ignoring it.

And soon, the point of it all is clear: If you assholes want to make a mess of the planet, you’ve got to live through your own, first.

This month, time unplugged is time for reigniting the trickster spirit. The milkshake-quake will serve as a tipping point. And once the momentum gets rolling, we the people will unite around the world, a billion strong, and exercise a new kind of might. The strategic application of mess — a new force for change in the world.

You heard it here first:
the revolution will be pasteurized!

Now 14126 people strong!